Monday, January 09, 2006

Mother of 3 guys and 1 Husband

I recently got interested in blogs from reading one of my son's friend's blog: http://twentysixyears.blogspot.com/ . It is funny, well written, and Cara is very disciplined about writing frequently. You can tell she is a "professional." (I also like her husband J's blog too! http://thingsjustinlikes.blogspot.com/) I know I will never be able to write like that, and I also know I will never be as disciplined, but I thought I might try writing a few things.

Many of you may be asking about the title of my blog "This is my question..." but those of you that know me, will not have any doubt about why this is my title. I do have the reputation of asking a lot of questions. (Hence the nickname of "20 questions"). I also admit that sometimes I don't listen to all the answers to all my questions. I want to title this first post "mother of 3 guys and 1 husband."

Since the only kids I had were males, (3 of them), and I have a husband, that pretty much made me the only female in my household until my oldest son got married. (Thank goodness for Becky because she does have a female outlook and helps even out the playing field of living with males!) Living with all males definitely is an adventure sometimes. The book that talks about women from Venus and men from Mars probably covers this phenomena much better than I ever could but I do have to laugh sometimes about how different men and women think, act, talk and respond.

I like to tell this story in defense of why I ask questions of my guys. (It also shows how women and men look at things very differently!) It goes like this...

My son works at a golf course and has worked there for many years. He was over one night to eat dinner and said very casually that he had an upsetting day at work that day.

For the women reading this...their next thought{a question} is usually: What happened at work today to upset you? But my son actually paused before continuing with his story and acted like nothing unusual had been said. Being the mother and the questioning type, I of course asked, "What happened at work today to upset you?"

He said," One of the new guys cut off his finger".

Of course in my mind that generated about a million questions: How did that happen?, who was it that got hurt?, what happened to him?, is he alright?, etc..... I really do not think it is asking too much to get the who, what, when, where, how questions when talking about a guy cutting off his finger. (And I bet I am not the only female out there reading this that was thinking the same questions!)

Well, eventually, after several of those types of questions, I got the story about the injured coworker.
Who: New guy, not sure his name, Hispanic, dad works for the golf course too .
What happened: thought the mower was stopped and stuck his finger in the back of one of the mowers to clear out the grass, supervisor called for ambulance, argued with the 911 operator "Just get an ambulance out here, I can hear someone screaming and it is likely a hand or foot!
How old was he: "Young" was the answer. (Now just as an aside, "young" causes many more questions: Is that young to you or young to me? There is a difference! {He was about 16 yrs old}.)

Eventually, after my son was totally annoyed with the question process, it was all clear to me what had happened to that coworker. My son did have all the answers, up to that time frame, of the status of the coworker. I was actually glad he had included us in his day to day happenings, and shared things that made an impression with him.

Now being a nurse, I worried about the coworker......I kept thinking: How is the kid? Did they save his finger? Is he still working?

Next enter my youngest son into the story: He was not at the golf course when the occassion happened but went to work the next day. Now I ask the females reading this: In any work situation, especially if women are working there, wouldn't you expect some talk about how the kid was doing the next day after he cut off his fingers and an ambulance picked him up?
When the youngest son came home that day, I asked,"how is the kid and did they save his fingers?" Reply: " I don't know Mom, I didn't hear."

Well, let me just say that after asking my youngest "how the kid was and did they save his finger?" for TWO WEEKS, everyday single day, the middle son finally told me (put me out of my misery) that he was fine, back to work, and no they were unable to save his 2 fingers.

Now, this is my question....if your mom was asking you everyday the same question, wouldn't you try to find the answer just to shut her up?

The kicker to this story is that my husband said, " I don't know why you had to ask any questions...it was clear what happened."
MY reply :" What do you mean it was clear???? The boys didn't tell us anything of substance without a little prodding."
My husband very matter of factly: "You know they work at a golf course, it was probably a hand or foot in a mower, and since they provided no further info....everything was ok."

My point exactly...Men and women think differently and I am the mother of 3 guys and 1 husband who never( to be fair, not never, but frequently) answer the who, what, when, where, and how questions!

8 comments:

tanidia said...

Now if you really want some insight into this family ask the question about the reunion shoe!!

Justin said...

I had an uncle who used to be able to remove his thumb from his hand and then put it back on again. It was amazing.

Cara Maria McDonough said...

I love all this BLOGGING! I may never have to work again...

neva said...

OMG!!! What a hoot!! I LOVED it!

Jeff said...

Let me say that in defense of the youngest son, (whoever he may be), that this was a sensitive subject matter within the RTJ community and i was not comfortable.... i mean he wasn't.... comfortable with asking people about the kid's nonexistant fingers... plus i wasn't as interested as mother was...

Anonymous said...

Ok Ok , I have to respond...
First, The answer is in the statement and really we have two events here.
1. The son had a bad day at work because a co-worker, a new guy, friend cut his finger off. ( missed by the original blogger )
2. a person, a new guy, lost a finger while he was working.

Now the reason the answers are in the statement.

Who: a new guy
What: had a finger whacked off
Where: at work
When: today
How: needs no explaination. they work at a golf course, what do they do at the golf course in grounds maintence? my guess! "Use Lawn Mowers and other dangerous equipment using rotating blades".

Now thru the neverending questions we did find out a lot of stuff un-related to the incident..

Does it really matter what nationality the person is? The last time I looked, all nationalities are normally born with 5 fingers on each hand.

Did it really matter that the father of the person worked there as well? Obviously not, he still had his finger removed.

I could go on with these kinds questions about the second event, but it is useless, the answer was in the statement.

Now, If one would have had a little more sympathy/patience for/with the son telling the story, all the pertinent facts would have come out. After all, he was the one who brought it up, and was obviously upset and wanted to talk about it, but No, "This is my question" came out.

I am worried about the person who was unfortunate that day, but I was just glad to look over to the Son telling the story, and see all 10 fingers still entact.

And there was no way, that day we would have known that it was really two fingers.. The son did not know that fact that day.

Ok maybe not so anonymous!

neva said...

and Charley -the Orthopeadic surgeon, at the end of that story, said-"so I figured he lost more than 1" and MY question is "HUH??? How or why would he think he had lost more than one?? no clues were given and no answers so I couldn't figure that out.....again the difference between men and women. And Yes, we ALL were thrilled that said son(s) had all 10 digits still entact. Thank God for that,.
But, I imagine they paid attention when saftey intstuctions were given.

Avis said...

well, I thought your stories were pretty funny.